A question am sure we ask ourselves, at some point in life due to an incident, an interaction or plain realization ;). I experienced one such incident. Here I was finally taking the step to be a part of a NGO, attending a recruitment drive(one thing I always wanted to do from school, but never thought I had the personality or the guts to be interviewed and then selected eventually 😉 )For the first time in my life, I felt out of place and it didn’t quite bother me(yes, working instils you that confidence especially when you love what you do 😉 ) I said to myself, ‘You are the oldest bloody person here!’ Of course the people recruiting seemed somewhere my age or older, which made me feel better. My bubble burst, when someone in the line ahead of me, decided to talk to me.
I was baffled for a minute and tried to catch up what she was trying to tell me, all I heard was ‘Oh my God! I can’t believe it!’ a couple of times and all I could offer was a smile. Then I discovered, she studies in the same college that I did and it got me excited we had something in common to talk about. After the initial bitching on the principal, the college and the lecturers, I found myself telling her to do internships, be part of fest organization etc,. till I had to remind myself to shut up and not be all advicy. She discovered I work and then again after some more ‘Oh My Gods!’, she decided she would ask me about the TV series I watch and I was blank, my series ended with Sherlock/ HIMYM and am still stuck up with them. I said ‘Sorry! I don’t watch much’ and continuing this I said I seem to be the oldest here and she gave me the ‘Oh like you didn’t know look with Dude you are old, like I was an old granny in between this teenage folks’. Quite frankly it amused me and reminded me why I didn’t like some of the girls in college. 😉
Well the drive went on, there were people like me who felt out of place but none the less tried to be as enthusiastic and excited, jumpy like the college folks. I met another girl who would end up asking me questions and answer it herself before I would open my mouth. ‘Do you listen to music? Do you see series?’ ‘Oh you must be busy with work and may not have time!’. At one point I wanted to tell her, I work a little more hours than she attends college, have evenings free and also weekends off unlike her. Not only did I have time to do whatever i wished too, I also had the freedom and the money(I know this was mean, so I shut up!’. I just told her ‘You will grow to like different things and I have passed that phase way before, travel and read and write is what I do in free time.’
Moving to another incident, we had some tasks to do and all the nervous guys around kind of made me feel more confident(quite unlike me or maybe I had turned to be this way) and I looked around them praying, wishing, discussing that the person to interview them would be sweet and calm and nice. It made me smile and I pondered, why wasn’t I feeling any of it, had I really grown old or was it just me confident. It was a mix of both.
I smiled to myself, ‘I like growing old, because am more content now, happier and at peace. I am glad I grew old like this because I love what I do and I do what I love, it’s a bliss to have discovered it. I know what I want off my life and am not trying to be anyone but just me.’ I felt a light glow, a halo around my head on that realization. So yes, I love growing old. Are you guys wondering why am not fretting over it, because most of them there felt I was another student just like them, making me wonder, is being happy and content making me younger, atleast I feel so. 🙂
Don’t fret over getting old. I am a cat on the wall now, not a college student neither a lot of experience working, but not a fresher either, but trust me, don’t fret on getting old. Instead, do everything you wanted to do, dreamt of doing and thought of trying. Live your life and do things that makes you happy from the inside and it’ll show on you as a glow.
Live passionate!Love yourself…