Moving to www.opinionatedmua.com

Dear buddies,

Thank you for being soo supportive of this blog and reading as I put my heart out. Am happy to announce we have moved to a new domain and website, http://www.opinionatedmua.com. I shall continue my love story with words there. Do drop me. Would love to have you there.

Hope to see you there.

Love,

Opinionatedmua

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Why are you soo afraid to be ‘you’?

A phase of confusion, sometimes even an agony you go through somewhere in your life, as you try to figure who you are or who you want to be known as. This short film reminded me of just that.

Identity. Some look for it. Some have already found it. But many refuse to  identify it. The society sure plays a very prominent role in it. Every time you start to identify with yourself, there is a finger waiting to be pointed at you and to tell ‘What do you think you are doing?’. Everything seems to have a preset definition and rules that should not be violated. Beauty is defined in a specific way – thin, fair and good clothes. Being a good friend is defined in a specific way – who’s nice, there when you need them and don’t change anything about you. Not to forget being a good girl – who doesn’t speak a lot, is charming (read smiles for everything but says nothing) and is likable  (read won’t mind being said anything and is always ready to help at her own cost too).

With this pressure and the confusion of not knowing who we want to be, we glide on through life wearing different masks, being different with different groups, blending in the crowd, trying hard to be likable but never satisfied and with a feeling that’s always nagging at you. Then you learn from your pain, from the let downs, from the disappointments and the insults. You learn some more as you realize there shouldn’t be an effort to have people like you, especially at the cost of yourself.

Then…you break free. You understand yourself better and know what you stand for , what you believe in and who really matter. You start to shed each of your masks and feel the weight diminishing too. You are FREE now! From the society, the rules and the demon in yourself.

Be YOU ! Because nobody can do that better than yourself.

Consistent – something I always stayed far from

I am passionate about work and the things I love. Always dreaming of doing what I love to make a living. Everyone dreams of that you say? Yaa..well I agree with you but you what I and most of you all out there don’t do? Do things consistently. Well yes! I have magically figured (read known all along) the secret to happiness and success. It’s about BEING CONSISTENT!

download   Remember that fabulous home remedy you found to clear your face up like TIDE(washing powder) does to your yellow clothes making them clean. Or that super exercise regime that made you feel great in a week but didn’t give you a makeover. Or that painting you soo much wanted to try. Well you know why, none of them worked out? Of course it was a rhetorical question. I wonder what is soo hard to be consistent, when you can get it all by just being that.

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My my am I getting old?

A question am sure we ask ourselves, at some point in life due to an incident, an interaction or plain realization ;). I experienced one such incident. Here I was finally taking the step to be a part of a NGO, attending a recruitment drive(one thing I always wanted to do from school, but never thought I had the personality or the guts to be interviewed and then selected eventually 😉 )For the first time in my life, I felt out of place and it didn’t quite bother me(yes, working instils you that confidence especially when you love what you do 😉 ) I said to myself, ‘You are the oldest bloody person here!’ Of course the people recruiting seemed somewhere my age or older, which made me feel better. My bubble burst, when someone in the line ahead of me, decided to talk to me.

I was baffled for a minute and tried to catch up what she was trying to tell me, all I heard was ‘Oh my God! I can’t believe it!’ a couple of times and all I could offer was a smile. Then I discovered, she studies in the same college that I did and it got me excited we had something in common to talk about. After the initial bitching on the principal, the college and the lecturers, I found myself telling her to do internships, be part of fest organization etc,. till I had to remind myself to shut up and not be all advicy. She discovered I work and then again after some more ‘Oh My Gods!’, she decided she would ask me about the TV series I watch and I was blank, my series ended with Sherlock/ HIMYM and am still stuck up with them. I said ‘Sorry! I don’t watch much’ and continuing this I said I seem to be the oldest here and she gave me the ‘Oh like you didn’t know look with Dude you are old, like I was an old granny in between this teenage folks’. Quite frankly it amused me and reminded me why I didn’t like some of the girls in college. 😉

Well the drive went on, there were people like me who felt out of place but none the less tried to be as enthusiastic and excited, jumpy like the college folks. I met another girl who would end up asking me questions and answer it herself before I would open my mouth. ‘Do you listen to music? Do you see series?’ ‘Oh you must be busy with work and may not have time!’. At one point I wanted to tell her, I work a little more hours than she attends college, have evenings free and also weekends off unlike her. Not only did I have time to do whatever i wished too, I also had the freedom and the money(I know this was mean, so I shut up!’. I just told her ‘You will grow to like different things and I have passed that phase way before, travel and read and write is what I do in free time.’

Moving to another incident, we had some tasks to do and all the nervous guys around kind of made me feel more confident(quite unlike me or maybe I had turned to be this way) and I looked around them praying, wishing, discussing that the person to interview them would be sweet and calm and nice. It made me smile and I pondered, why wasn’t I feeling any of it, had I really grown old or was it just me confident. It was a mix of both.

I smiled to myself, ‘I like growing old, because am more content now, happier and at peace. I am glad I grew old like this because I love what I do and I do what I love, it’s a bliss to have discovered it. I know what I want off my life and am not trying to be anyone but just me.’ I felt a light glow, a halo around my head on that realization. So yes, I love growing old. Are you guys wondering why am not fretting over it, because most of them there felt I was another student just like them, making me wonder, is being happy and content making me younger, atleast I feel so. 🙂

Don’t fret over getting old. I am a cat on the wall now, not a college student neither a lot of experience working, but not a fresher either, but trust me, don’t fret on getting old. Instead, do everything you wanted to do, dreamt of doing and thought of trying. Live your life and do things that makes you happy from the inside and it’ll show on you as a glow.

Live passionate!Love yourself…

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PC: pinterest

In search of purpose…

purpose

PC: ARUS

I still remember the day in college, my very own MCC when I thought in the middle of the class that ‘Akshata, you should have a purpose in life.’ and then my train of thought just drifted away to something else, but that feeling kept gnawing at me. I pondered over it for days, trying to understand what purpose am I trying to find and why has it suddenly become soo important for me. It boggles me even now. Yes! I haven’t yet figured it out but somewhere feels like am getting to it.

Don’t give me the ‘Why hasn’t she figured it out yet? look’. Well for me passion and purpose are two different things. I am sure many would disagree about it. Yes both give tremendous amount of happiness but purpose gives you a satisfaction and salvation. Now you may wonder if you know what it would make you feel, why haven’t you realised what it is yet. Well I understand what you guys are trying to say, there sure has been times when I felt I have on the verge of figuring it out. But turns out, its like layers, the more I unveil it, the more I know am closer to it but yet not at the core of it.

The work I do now is a passion, books and reading is a passion, staying happy is a passion, creating something new is passion but that’s not a purpose in my life. I know that for sure! Purpose in life is something you do that brings you this warm fuzzy feeling(yes more like the feeling of love), the satisfaction, the feeling of being filled with love happiness and the light headedness of being the reason. The layers of the core(yet to unveil) of my purpose, so far figured- helping people, being the reason for bringing a smile on someone, plain loving someone or something purely with no ifs and buts attached, appreciating someone for who they are, what they do or what they said, talking to children- dreaming with them, laughing for no reason and being loved. I know they are vague and some may not be linked, but they all lead to my holy grail that would change my life forever. In pursuit of purpose…..

Ending it with a dialogue I love from the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness,(The dad telling his son)

Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me.

You got a dream, you gotta protect it.

When people can’t do something themselves, they’re gonna tell you that you can’t do it.

You want something, go get it. Period

Wonder if some of you feel the same and would love to hear from you. Do share your thoughts. 🙂

Life of Hope & Aries (In the beginning)

A story and a storyteller to await for…

Nerd's Vision

"Bang bang, he shot me down Bang bang, I hit the ground,Bang bang,that awful sound Bang bang, my baby shot me down”

Bang!! That was the actual sound that came out when he hit his head on the wall. Half dazed by the impact he pressed his head walked into his tuition class. The old lady who took kannada language tuition scolded him ‘how many times have I told you not to go out from the back door??’ he started saying the dog…  simultaneously he ran his hand on the his face to wash what he thought was a sweat only to realize it was blood. It started streaming down from his head really fast and the kids in the class started shouting blood blood. The old lady started screaming at everyone to shut up. He tried really hard not to drop the blood on the floor but it was…

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Letters to Thee #1

Letters to Juliet!

The movie ‘ Letters to Juliet’ keeps popping in my head, way quite often nowadays and i wonder why?Trying to answer my own question..i guess because the letter was answered though it was a really late one, but yet it was and it changed everybodys life. Now you may want to know whom do i want to write to or what is the answers am seeking.

I would say i want to write to ‘Thee’ that’s you wanting and seeking ‘thee’ in me. Am i generalizing the you, no am not. Its the one particular ‘Thee’. We spend half our lyf in search of something/someone and spend the rest in losing it. I wonder why?Could you tell me why?Happiness doesn’t last is what i feel! is that true? I am sure you would say you need to know ‘sad’ to know ‘happy’ but what about love? You don’t need to know hate to know love?I don’t wish to live life in regret neither not to live at all. A conflict that doesn’t settle.

Thee make me whole..thee make me me…Thou shall leave me incomplete..

A Warm and fuzzy feeling called “YOU”

A sad dull day because of less sleep or the thought of the hard day ahead or feeling ‘am looking stupid today’..a dead tired time where all I wana do is just throw away all the stuff and hit the bed….or the time am really angry at the *&%$# day I have had…all I have to do is come to you…a smile just involuntarily appears on me…I always wonder how do I thank you for that….you give me that warm fuzzy feeling…that feeling you get when you have a hot cup of coffee when you dying of cold…or a plate of pakoras and jilebi during rainy days….like a soft soothing music makes u smile when u r agitated….

A smile that never leaves…a smiles that kinda like reminds you of being there….when you almost forget theres any good left in the world. You are not just a person, but a feeling…a feeling that makes you alive..a feeling that makes you smile for no reason…a feeling that brings sparkle to your eyes when remembered….how do you do it is what I wana know…its amazing how u can give me all the feelings in the world…all together at times….of anger of being cared for of irritation and of pure intense love……

People say its hard to find love…I say its hard to sustain it….falling in love is easy..staying in love is the hard part….and when it’s the right person…its never a hardwork is it??..yaaa wont say it’s a cakewalk…it has its highs and low….but its loadsa funn when you know it is this warm and fuzzy feeling that you ll always want for life JAm sure you thought of them when you read this!!!!

Chaos…..

A condition where everythin around is nt at peace…Life is a chaos…actually everythin is….even da air….u dnt knw wat 2 do….u dnt knw where u r goin wrng or wat is goin wrng….al u can feel is u standing still wid everythin around u movin faster…in a bizzare way n u cnt make ot wats hpndnin….is it coz u r lost in ur own world that u cnt grasp wats hpndnin….or is it coz everythin around u is movin faster widot any direction n u feel its chaotic???….its hard to know….dats wen u feel angry…coz u dnt knw…..on a different note…y is accepting chaos soo difficult??isnt that wat v wan…otherwise v think lys borin……chaos is gd…it makes u feel alive in a way because u have sooo much to know yet soo little you know….its hectic…it keeps u on ur toes….it makes u crazy n foolish at the same tym….dats wen u realise how gd a single breathe can make u feel as u stop n breathe n hear ur heart pounding….yes u r alive…..STOP COMPLAININ!!! Start LIVIN…coz everythin has a way…..u mst let it rather than try to lead it ….

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YOU!!!!!!!

When I found you, lyf was a mess or say it was leading into a mess. But something clicked..something snapped in me wen you came..lik it was waiting for you to come along and finally relieved that you did come. I was lost…trying hard to win a lost fyt, ready to put maself at stake. You came along and amazingly brought  ‘me’ with you. In tym I found my senses…I found maself all over again. What is this love??is it like the movies..dancin around…is it abt gifts or who spends the mst for you…is it being lost??NO!!!!!its about finding urself…its about helping make eachother better and not stupid. You came along and lyf changed..i am ‘ME’..I am focused and I am not guilty of saying ‘I’ smtyms than ‘WE’ all the tym. You came along and happiness seem to just burst out of me, refilling everytym its in the ‘danger low level zone’. You came along and you didn’t make or take me away from my family, you got me closer to them…you didn’t try to overpower them or become more important than them, rather you became a part of them…family… You came along and brought calmness to an agitated everything..You came along and all I have is LOVE, HAPPINESS, DREAMS, PEACE and most importantly ‘ME’.