My my am I getting old?

A question am sure we ask ourselves, at some point in life due to an incident, an interaction or plain realization ;). I experienced one such incident. Here I was finally taking the step to be a part of a NGO, attending a recruitment drive(one thing I always wanted to do from school, but never thought I had the personality or the guts to be interviewed and then selected eventually 😉 )For the first time in my life, I felt out of place and it didn’t quite bother me(yes, working instils you that confidence especially when you love what you do 😉 ) I said to myself, ‘You are the oldest bloody person here!’ Of course the people recruiting seemed somewhere my age or older, which made me feel better. My bubble burst, when someone in the line ahead of me, decided to talk to me.

I was baffled for a minute and tried to catch up what she was trying to tell me, all I heard was ‘Oh my God! I can’t believe it!’ a couple of times and all I could offer was a smile. Then I discovered, she studies in the same college that I did and it got me excited we had something in common to talk about. After the initial bitching on the principal, the college and the lecturers, I found myself telling her to do internships, be part of fest organization etc,. till I had to remind myself to shut up and not be all advicy. She discovered I work and then again after some more ‘Oh My Gods!’, she decided she would ask me about the TV series I watch and I was blank, my series ended with Sherlock/ HIMYM and am still stuck up with them. I said ‘Sorry! I don’t watch much’ and continuing this I said I seem to be the oldest here and she gave me the ‘Oh like you didn’t know look with Dude you are old, like I was an old granny in between this teenage folks’. Quite frankly it amused me and reminded me why I didn’t like some of the girls in college. 😉

Well the drive went on, there were people like me who felt out of place but none the less tried to be as enthusiastic and excited, jumpy like the college folks. I met another girl who would end up asking me questions and answer it herself before I would open my mouth. ‘Do you listen to music? Do you see series?’ ‘Oh you must be busy with work and may not have time!’. At one point I wanted to tell her, I work a little more hours than she attends college, have evenings free and also weekends off unlike her. Not only did I have time to do whatever i wished too, I also had the freedom and the money(I know this was mean, so I shut up!’. I just told her ‘You will grow to like different things and I have passed that phase way before, travel and read and write is what I do in free time.’

Moving to another incident, we had some tasks to do and all the nervous guys around kind of made me feel more confident(quite unlike me or maybe I had turned to be this way) and I looked around them praying, wishing, discussing that the person to interview them would be sweet and calm and nice. It made me smile and I pondered, why wasn’t I feeling any of it, had I really grown old or was it just me confident. It was a mix of both.

I smiled to myself, ‘I like growing old, because am more content now, happier and at peace. I am glad I grew old like this because I love what I do and I do what I love, it’s a bliss to have discovered it. I know what I want off my life and am not trying to be anyone but just me.’ I felt a light glow, a halo around my head on that realization. So yes, I love growing old. Are you guys wondering why am not fretting over it, because most of them there felt I was another student just like them, making me wonder, is being happy and content making me younger, atleast I feel so. 🙂

Don’t fret over getting old. I am a cat on the wall now, not a college student neither a lot of experience working, but not a fresher either, but trust me, don’t fret on getting old. Instead, do everything you wanted to do, dreamt of doing and thought of trying. Live your life and do things that makes you happy from the inside and it’ll show on you as a glow.

Live passionate!Love yourself…

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PC: pinterest

In search of purpose…

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PC: ARUS

I still remember the day in college, my very own MCC when I thought in the middle of the class that ‘Akshata, you should have a purpose in life.’ and then my train of thought just drifted away to something else, but that feeling kept gnawing at me. I pondered over it for days, trying to understand what purpose am I trying to find and why has it suddenly become soo important for me. It boggles me even now. Yes! I haven’t yet figured it out but somewhere feels like am getting to it.

Don’t give me the ‘Why hasn’t she figured it out yet? look’. Well for me passion and purpose are two different things. I am sure many would disagree about it. Yes both give tremendous amount of happiness but purpose gives you a satisfaction and salvation. Now you may wonder if you know what it would make you feel, why haven’t you realised what it is yet. Well I understand what you guys are trying to say, there sure has been times when I felt I have on the verge of figuring it out. But turns out, its like layers, the more I unveil it, the more I know am closer to it but yet not at the core of it.

The work I do now is a passion, books and reading is a passion, staying happy is a passion, creating something new is passion but that’s not a purpose in my life. I know that for sure! Purpose in life is something you do that brings you this warm fuzzy feeling(yes more like the feeling of love), the satisfaction, the feeling of being filled with love happiness and the light headedness of being the reason. The layers of the core(yet to unveil) of my purpose, so far figured- helping people, being the reason for bringing a smile on someone, plain loving someone or something purely with no ifs and buts attached, appreciating someone for who they are, what they do or what they said, talking to children- dreaming with them, laughing for no reason and being loved. I know they are vague and some may not be linked, but they all lead to my holy grail that would change my life forever. In pursuit of purpose…..

Ending it with a dialogue I love from the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness,(The dad telling his son)

Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me.

You got a dream, you gotta protect it.

When people can’t do something themselves, they’re gonna tell you that you can’t do it.

You want something, go get it. Period

Wonder if some of you feel the same and would love to hear from you. Do share your thoughts. 🙂

Sir, you’ll continue to stay in us…

You cannot change your future, but you can change your habits and surely your habits will change your future – APJ Abdul Kalam

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There are only a few leaders in the world, who have this innate charm to make you sit straight and listen, also inspire you without you knowing the effect, they have on you. APJ Abdul Kalam is one such leader. I still remember when he was the President of India and how proud I was of the fact and ensured to speak about him, every chance I got. Only a few in the political field have the ability to become leaders through intellect and personality, APJ is one among these. His iconic hairstyle and the smile will never fade away from our memory. His infectious enthusiasm and keenness to connect with the youth will never be forgotten. He’ll remain in our hearts and keep inspiring us to be better, to build a better India and to create a wonderful world. Sir, you showed us what hardwork, innovation can change and also it’s the small lessons in life that matter and make who you are. You were a true visionary.

You will always be in our thoughts, our talks and be an inspiration to millions. Thank you for playing a prominent role in the development of India. My only regret is to not have met you or heard you speak in real. We’ll miss you…

Life of Hope & Aries (In the beginning)

A story and a storyteller to await for…

Nerd's Vision

"Bang bang, he shot me down Bang bang, I hit the ground,Bang bang,that awful sound Bang bang, my baby shot me down”

Bang!! That was the actual sound that came out when he hit his head on the wall. Half dazed by the impact he pressed his head walked into his tuition class. The old lady who took kannada language tuition scolded him ‘how many times have I told you not to go out from the back door??’ he started saying the dog…  simultaneously he ran his hand on the his face to wash what he thought was a sweat only to realize it was blood. It started streaming down from his head really fast and the kids in the class started shouting blood blood. The old lady started screaming at everyone to shut up. He tried really hard not to drop the blood on the floor but it was…

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I am proud of who i am – A WOMAN

download     I write this with a deep sense of agony after having seen the documentary ‘ India’s Daughter‘. It is a documentary i wish for everyone to see, to really know what happened on the fateful day-16th Dec’12. It’s been more than 2 years and yet we in it’s shadow and feel the chill run down our spine. Has justice been served??Has Jyoti, yes i call her by name for the deep sense of respect i have for her and refuse to call her just Nirbhaya, has she got the respect, the peace for having to be chosen to give such a heinous death. I wonder! Am sure there are many who still blame her, for ‘being out there during late hours of the night’ or ‘ for going out with a male friend’ or ‘for the way she dressed’. A scream that never leaves me but wrenches my inside. Tears flow out for the frustration, for the pain and for the reason- we, the women still need to fight for our freedom.

It’s been 67 years since India- The Bharath matha got independence and yet here are all the mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, friends and many more women waiting to be freed. Freedom to say what they think, to wear what they want, to be the way they like to be and not what the society expects to be. Freedom from judgements, from perceptions and this constant thought that they need to be protected. Yes times are changing and there are changes, am not denying it but there still no freedom not completely, not as they say a man or a boy would have. It’s the way each of us have been brought up, the tagged culture and tradition, the reason people like ML Sharma and AP Singh and , have the b**ls to speak what they did. Get a life, i want to tell you guys. Teach your sons and all men you know how to behave and how to be humans and not try to show their power than teaching women where her place is and what she ought to be doing. ‘You are a nobody when you cannot respect a woman!’

I salute the parents of Jyoti – Ashaji and Badriji for having the courage to speak up and for being proud of who your daughter was and how she brought out the light in each one of us. She shall remain immortal in our thoughts, in our hearts, always reminding us of the pain she had to confront. So i ask each one of you out there, how can a monster, though a juvenile be let out for doing such a heinous crime, inspite of being one of the main person in this crime, he ll be let out this Dec’2015 because he is not an adult. Really?? How did this child do such monstrous act? Nothing nothing can justify what he did and he deserves to be Hanged to death like everyone else. Who knows what he does after coming out?or is this a message we send out to all the kids out there. I feel a chill again down my spine. What kind of justice is this??it’s not even justice.

Will everyday be a struggle, struggle against so called society and it’s rules for women, struggle against your voice wanting to be heard, struggle against wanting to be yourself, a struggle for equality. Not saying all men are bad, just saying women are equal-in stature, in voice and deserve equal respect. I would as a small girl, wish to be a guy, only for the reason of freedom, freedom to roam, go out anytime of the day, to wear clothes not to cover things, to not be afraid of the lingering eyes and sometimes hands. Today i say i am proud of who i am- a woman, i am proud to be the way i am to be the proud daughter of my parents and a proud sister to my brother. I am someone who instils respect and who isn’t afraid to be and do what i wish too. I am proud i am a good friend and i ll be a mother to nurture children and their minds and i promise to myself, i shall teach my son to respect and treat a gal/woman better and as equal and i shall teach my daughter, she is no less than anyone and is as free as a bird and teach her to look after herself first before anything.

I start today. I break free and urge everyone else to do so too-men and women, from social obligations, from societal pressures, from oppression and demand respect, equality with no judgements. We are all in this together! Jyoti- justice will be served, you shall be the reason to a new light in every women and help others in ways even we may not fathom.

Watch the documentary- India’ Daughter

The joy of happines

Happiness is something that everybody seeks in their own way. Yes happiness is not going to be always there but it can constantly be there which is in your hands. Isnt everyone working for this day in and day out? TO be happy…to make someone happy which would in turn make them happy. Choosing a way, a path that would ultimately lead to happiness. Yet we are soo afraid to accept this, to aceept its happiness that we seek. Is it because people will feel you are selfish? Won’t people come up with something or the other anyways?

Its okay to want happiness and its okay to seek it. Ultimately it’s the life of happy moments you remember the most and would be a content soul when it’s time for you to leave behind this world. Am not saying other feelings aren’t important but what am really saying is embrace happiness, embrace the tiny joys of life, may it be seeing a loved one or having your favourite chochlate, whether it’s hugging your kid or telling your husband or parents that you love them or the joy of making someone smile, embrace it and do it today.

Don’t wait for happiness to find you, rather you go ahead and find it!

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Letters to Thee #1

Letters to Juliet!

The movie ‘ Letters to Juliet’ keeps popping in my head, way quite often nowadays and i wonder why?Trying to answer my own question..i guess because the letter was answered though it was a really late one, but yet it was and it changed everybodys life. Now you may want to know whom do i want to write to or what is the answers am seeking.

I would say i want to write to ‘Thee’ that’s you wanting and seeking ‘thee’ in me. Am i generalizing the you, no am not. Its the one particular ‘Thee’. We spend half our lyf in search of something/someone and spend the rest in losing it. I wonder why?Could you tell me why?Happiness doesn’t last is what i feel! is that true? I am sure you would say you need to know ‘sad’ to know ‘happy’ but what about love? You don’t need to know hate to know love?I don’t wish to live life in regret neither not to live at all. A conflict that doesn’t settle.

Thee make me whole..thee make me me…Thou shall leave me incomplete..

Its better to let go…….

Friends…the thought of it brings a smile on your face…maybe that’s the first reaction we let our-self have..But have you wondered what a lifelong friendship means??am sure by now we know what a made for eachother love means, but can we get our mind around a friendship that’s lasted a lifetime?right from the start,when you […]

LIVE!!

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Every morning we wake up doing the same routine, following the same things to either begin the day(study or job) and go through the whole day, just like any other day. Here i am in the middle of my one such day..asking myself…or rather telling myself..LIVE!!…but isnt it supposed to be easy..arent we actually doing that…but when you really really ask yourself…you ll know its true…how many days have you really been happy..happy that the day happend or content about the day that went by??how many times have you felt all charged up at the end of a tiresome day, when you have actually done lottsa work but you dont feel any of it because you are happy…now to think of it..am sure its just a few days that you could count or worse, you dont remember when was the last time you felt so.

Now ask yourself, why are you doing all this for??not for responsibilities…dont give that reason…you can fulfill your responsibilities and still be happy…now come on give urself sometime too…and to really think of it..the only way to lead a life..your life is to live it…because that last moment that verry time when you about to die…only your happiness and the way you lived will matter…and then you should never regret on not really doing what you liked..not really enjoying…not really living at the moment…not expressing not loving and hell no..not LIVING..

Soo lets all promise one thing to ourselves…a promise to love yourself and your loved ones…a promise to live every moment…a promise to never regret…..LIVE LOVE LAUGH….